You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
