you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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