She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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