Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
