I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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