either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize