A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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