So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
