i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize