There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
