You can't motorboat a personality
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize