Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
