It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
