just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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