every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize