Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
