You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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