You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Randomize
