My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
