I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
