Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
