I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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