Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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