Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
