This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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