I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
