But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
