ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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