you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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