I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
