literally had 100 drinks last night.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
