After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
he thought i was a dude.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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