A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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