Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
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