I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
