chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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