Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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