Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
