I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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