Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
