We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
