this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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