So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
