Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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