Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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