well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
