i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize