The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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