Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
