oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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