worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
