from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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