At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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