So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
