Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
