Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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