Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Let's get the cat blown out
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
