who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize