I want to walk on stilts...naked
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
