can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
This is not my ceiling
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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