I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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