She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Randomize
