That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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