Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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