Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
