No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
