oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Randomize
