then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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