hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
