if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You can't just leave with hair like that
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
